When You're Not In The Mood To Laugh

Jokes that are sure not to make you laugh
These jokes are super-cheesy and don't make any sense. I will be updating this list often when I hear a joke so cheesy, you will be guaranteed not to laugh.

Gouda morning! Want to here a joke about pizza? Sorry, I can't tell you. It's too cheesy...

Now that you're laughing, lets move on to the next joke.

Person a: Knock Knock
Person b: Who's there?
Person a: Interrupting Cow.
Person b: Interrupting C-
Person a: Moo!!!


Person a: Knock Knock 
Person b: Who's there?
Person a: Agh
Person b: Agh-who?
Person a: Oh bless you, bless you!


You're sock is untied!

What did tree 1 say to tree 2?
Nothing. You're so silly. Trees can't talk!

What's ones plus one?
A window. (1, +, 1, and = make the lines for a window)

Don't you wish you had cymbals right now, so that every time you heard a funny joke, you would use the drum sticks to make the rhythm ba da tsh (the sound is hard to describe by letters)?

Is Algebra Necessary?

Again, like many other blogs and journals I have kept, I have been drifting away from expression. School is about to start, so today, I'm going to be talking about my opinion on this article. In a nutshell, author Andrew Hacker talks about if math (especially algebra) are necessary. He includes the numbers of students dropping out and tells us how very complex math is not always useful. He also proposes an alternative solution to the problem. It is “citizen statistics.”  It teaches the math can be put to use in to the real world. My description is a very small summary so I suggest you read "Is Algebra Necessary?".

I agree with Mr. Hacker that Algebra or other math courses learned from high school to college may be a large contributing factor to students not being able to complete high school or college. I think that "citizen statistics" and basic math is a good idea and should be started in Kindergarten, right when a 5-year child starts school. I think in sometime at the end of middle school, a test should be given that accurately gives teachers an idea of the student's career path. To lead up to this test, career days and other activities should be highlighted in elementary school.

The test should be a combination of essay, multiple choice, and fill in the blank questions. It should also be noted that there are no wrong answers. The purpose of the test should be to give all involved parties (teachers, parents, and the students themselves) an accurate idea of the field the child wants to focus on. Then, the teachers should use the test results to put students with similar career paths in a math class together. Students interested in a medical career (pharmaceutical researcher, doctor, etc.), for example, should be taught the kind of math that will help them in their jobs.

I think this will give students a strong focus on their career (entrée), along with a side math to help them, therefore making their futures brighter. I have a task for you - read the essay and tell me: Is Algebra Necessary?

Fear of falling

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.” -J.K. Rowling

        I absolutely  love this quote: J.K. Rowling is right. There are so many times where I've failed while trying to learn something. When I was learning to use the scooter and ride a bike, I fell countless times. At first, I didn't want to try because I was afraid of getting hurt. I figured it was inevitable and I had the gear to prevent the pain, so I just embraced it. My legs are proof of all the times I fell and failed.

        When making my first salad, while cutting a tomato, I cut my finger (the cut was about as small as a miniature paper cut). Now I make a decent salad. I have failed at so many things so many times, but I try to pick myself back up. If you have too but you sometimes feel like giving up, look to quote like this for inspiration or to lift your spirits. If you did your best and failed, isn't it better than not doing anything at all?

There are so many quotes that tell you in your own way that I really like. Here are 2 of them:

       “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
-H. Jackson Brown Jr., P.S. I Love You

        "I failed my way to success"
-Thomas Edison

        Great people tell you to go ahead and fail. If you stand on their shoulders, fail, fall, get back up, and repeat (not doing the same thing every time, of course) until satisfied, you have the recipe for success! Enjoy. Wait until cool and serve with Expression. :)

Color

Color is an intense experience on its own.
Jim Hodges

        I would agree with Jim Hodges and add that color is something that some of us take for granted. How many of us spend their days admiring the vivid sunset, looking at the color of walls, and thinking about the feeling, the intensity, and meaning of the colors of the visible light spectrum? I know I don't. The only part of my life related to thinking about color is asking people what their favorite color is, or wondering what mine is. 

        I like so many colors that I can't pick a favorite. I like fresh green (the color of grass), jade, and magenta. Do I ever wonder that some animals can't see color? No. That they live in black and white? I can only imagine what it would feel like to be that animal. Living in black and white is like living in a movie from the 70's. I can't stand even 10 minutes of those things, let alone a lifetime. If that animal was magically able to be able to see in color it's thought's would echo I Can See Clearly Now.

Age

"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
-Satchel Paige"

 

        If I was unaware of my age (10), I would try to estimate how old I was. I would judge form my height, weight, and comparison to others who knew their ages. I would judge from my grade in school. I would make up a birthday I would be born on March 3rd because, spelled out, March 3rd is 3/3, and I like the number 3. Whenever I would get a second I would ponder the question "Who am I? Really?"

 

At the end of the day, though, I would still be 10 years old, no matter how old I think I am, I'm always 10, even if I don't have something to prove it (until I turn 11, of course). To me, the answer to Satchel Paige's question (above) is like the answers to the following questions; "Before the Mount Everest was discovered, what was the tallest mountain (Mount Everest)" and "If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was there to witness it, did it make a sound? (Yes)." I guess the point of these questions is to ask you, if you don't have proof of something that is true, is it still true? The answer is yes. 

 

My question to any readers:  "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?                                                                               -Satchel Paige"

Mary Had a Little Lamb

Today's post is almost guaranteed to be entertaining. My mom and I have decided to write a post on what we think would be the object they're most obsessed about. I think my mom would least like to let go of her nail clippers. Nothing fancy, just a basic pair of nail clippers. You know, the basic, rusting, Japanese thing that clips nails and is probably double it's owner's age. It was given to her when my Grand Dad was on a business trip.

Now it's a "family treasure"-to my mom. It goes wherever she goes, like Mary had a Little Lamb, Heartcrossings being Mary and those nail clippers being the lamb. Poor Lamb! And even as the number of nail clippers with enhanced technologies grows, my mom still has those old nail clippers. She can't find her phone, her wallet, her 100 dollar bill, her brand new shoes or purse, yet she always knows where her lamb is. Has she inserted a GPS system on it? The world will never know.

Narrator: This is a Hypothetical situation: Heartcrossings loses her nail clippers. *First of all, this is not possible, so that's why it says hypothetical*

Mom: Ahh!! Have you seen my nail clippers? I was using them yesterday and  set them down on my security system but I haven't seen them!!

Me: *I don't reply*

Mom: What is happening in this house? When there's an earthquake, everybody is running and screaming like I lost my nail clippers. When I actually lose my nail clippers, they're being as calm as they should be during an earthquake!

Me: *takes headphones off* Hi, Mom, did you say something?

Mom: Say something? I lost my nail clippers! Where were you when I told you?? So, why are you still standing there?

Me: Why do I have to get up? I'm not looking for nail clippers. Can't you just buy new ones?

Mom: No, my nail-clippers are like family to me!! They must be found!

Me: Then get adopt a new pair.

Mom: That's preposterous! I would never be as insane as to-wait, what's that in the trash can?

Me: Oh! While I was cleaning I found a rusting paper clip or something. Why?

Mom: My Nail Clippers!! They're Here!! Hallelujah! How could you ever mistake them for a rusting paper clip?

Me: *After throwing up in the bathroom* I don't know.

Mom: Fine! Anyways, what song where you listening to? A new hit?

Me: *puts headphones back on* Mary had a Little Lamb, Little Lamb...

Narrator: The End

Don't You Remember?*

Recently, my mom, H, came home from a business trip. She told me about a little baby girl on the plane. She would play-peek-a-boo, smile, and be friendly with my mom. After she had a nap, my mom smiled at the baby girl, whose eyes where like that of a child looking at a stranger. Today's post is on forgetting things as easily as that baby girl on the plane.

 If I could forget on as fast a clip as the little girl, I would not remember times when I was sick or hurt, when I did something wrong, when I missed a friend, when I wallowed in self-pity, when I cried to let things I didn't want inside me out, and when I felt lonely, but tried to convince myself I was actually alone (big difference). 

Neither would I remember all of the joyful times in my life : the things that  happen to make my day, the many small things I sometimes don't notice that cannot be put into a bottle (or a blog post) for display, but will always remain in my head as things I never want to forget. I think it's okay that I remember bad things so I can try to learn from them and learn how to get over things not going my way.

I'd love to have "selective" baby-memory, even though I know that it's wishful thinking, that I can't have everything (but I can dream, can't I?). So guess I feel bad for the little baby girl who can't remember spending part of her plane ride smiling to people. But soon she will grow up, and have a lot to remember, experiences, that will make her, her. 

*The title is the name of a song by Adele